By Philippe Defechereux
Photos courtesy Planet F1
Well, well, well. This may be the first inter-season in a long time to prove more thrilling, exciting and dramatic than the racing season itself. Last month in Part 1, we used the words “staccato of events” to describe the early post-season events. Now, we need to use something much stronger like “major news releases at maximum revs.” And that’s 19,000 rpms as befits F1. Let’s hear these latest loud sounds of fury; we suggest wearing earplugs.
In order of amplitude:
* Schumi is back. Great blasts of trumpets and fireworks! Anybody who would have predicted this in writing six months ago would have quickly been taken to the loony house (next to Max Mosley’s favorite club).
Yes, der Kaiser will race again, at age 41, armed with a three-year contract tying him to the brand new Mercedes GP team. Nico Rosberg is his teammate, for an all-German steamroller like in the old days. Ross Brawn – definitely a Brit – engineered the whole thing, so to speak. Great risks, great rewards, they say, and we’ll see. Thrilling prospect!
* Renault stays. Blaring outburst of French horns. Though in December Renault sold 80 percent of its shares to Genii Capital, a Luxembourg-based p.e. firm, the Renault name remain as the team’s formal brand, as do its engines, meaning the French company is still staking its public reputation on the sport. The stakes are high in F1, so Renault must be serious. That’s good news. To-date, Robert Kubica is the only confirmed driver, while Romain Grosjean is almost definitely out. Driver number two to be named soon. Oh, and if you don’t know where Luxembourg is, it’s a tiny Duchy wedged between southern Belgium, France and Germany. Still considered a good tax haven.
* BMW-Sauber gets rolling. Swiss cowbells ringing around the Alps. The former BMW Sauber team is now back into Swiss hands, with Peter Sauber as Chairman and Team Principal. All BMW personnel has returned to Munich. Monisha Kaltenborn, formerly CFO, will be Managing Director at the team’s headquarters in Hinwil. Don’t ask. BMW-Sauber – the FIA insist tht’s still their name, as that’s how they filed their entry last August – will be one of the two experienced independents, next to Williams (see below) on the grid this year. Regarding drivers, Kamui Kobayashi has already been confirmed, while Nick Heidfeld, Pedro de la Rosa, and Giancarlo Fisichella are vying for seat number 2. It’s getting crowded around the Alps for F1 cockpit seats.
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* Williams is in the groove. British anthem rousing. Frank Williams keeps on revving. In this forthcoming season of new rules and new beginnings, with greatly reduced budgets for all, maybe Frank Williams can stage a comeback. He’s sure earned the opportunity. Let’s wish him well. Rubens Barrichello will lead the team on the track, where, in the final analysis, it counts most. Newbie Nico Hulkenberg will be driver number 2. Let’s hope Rubens earns many more kudos for himself. The sympatico Brazilian represents one of the best combinations of talent and gentlemanliness in the sport.
* A new Point System has been approved by the FIA. Rising sounds of la Marseillaise. Almost lost in all this noise, the FIA under new president Jean Todt approved a radically new point system for top finishers, closer to the American philosophy. From the new season’s first race, the winner will get 25 points; number two will get 20; then the third 15, then fourth 10, and then every other finisher in the top ten will fewer points, down to 1. The idea is to make competing for top spots more urgent and provide all teams with extra motivation to score. Call it anti-processional.
We’re for it. Processions and racing are like yoga and American football. Both spectacular in their own spheres, but anti-thetical.
! Safety Car Alert
A major clash in the political arena just forced the safety car out and yellow flags waving to slow down the pace of our racing news and report on the following off-track developments:
* Tuesday, January 5 : The French “Tribunal de Grande Instance” in Paris (sort of a Supreme Court) declares that the FIA had no right to ban Flavio Briatore or anyone else involved in the “Singapore Conspiracy” to be banned from the sport. The Tribunal did not judge on the merits, just basically on the fact that Max Mosley could not be at once a judge, a prosecutor and a member of the jury. They even call this “Natural Law.” Remarkable logic that should inspire the new FIA. Is there hope, at last?
* Monday, January 11: The FIA, led by newly appointed Frenchman Jean Todt, files an appeal against the Tribunal de Grande Instance’s decision regarding Briatore. There’s no hope after all, whatever you think of Flavio. The guillotine’s blade is still sharp and its tracks well greased up on Place de la Concorde’s FIA headquarters.
That is sad news indeed for all F1 fans, for two reasons: first, it means that Jean Todt, as most people feared, was indeed “Max Mosley Redux.” He is not going to clean up the political stables. Second, politics will likely continue to dominate the F1 world, to the detriment of fans and spectators. In this dire economic climate, F1 might just be strangling itself on its own elitist infatuation. Sounds of the bugle playing “Taps.”
* Bernie to Buy Saab? Seems like more madness, but this is true. On Friday, January 8, it was announced that Bernie Ecclestone (still not a “Sir” though reportedly worth close to $4 billion) along with Genii Capital, cited above, are making a bid for the forlorn Swedish car company. Most F1 fans hope this will happen and keep Bernie away from F1, as Saab is considered a lost cause at this time, after two decades of manhandling by General Motors. Repeat same plaintive sounds of the bugle!
* Lewis Hamilton and his darling girlfriend Nicole Scherzinger jointly announced through a press release (!) just after New Year that their relationship had ended. All of us who were looking forward to a “pussycat war” between her and Jenson’s lovely Jessica Michibata in 2010 are disappointed. Let’s hope Lewis brings in some new talent before the season opener. Let’s simultaneously hope he does not use Tiger Woods as a role model. Wonder if Lewis has placed a call with Elin Nordegren?
The safety car has just got back into pit lane after crews cleared the asphalt from all these bits of foolishness. Back to qualifying for the 2010 season:
* Virgin Racing, courtesy Sir Richard Branson, is now a reality. Rising sounds of the “charge of the Walkyries.” Sir Richard got smitten with F1 last year – small potatoes for a man who’s about to launch passenger space travel as a private business. So watch Sir Richard. When he moves into a new field, he aims to win! Last year, he backed Brawn GP from the start, after all. That was just 10 months ago, and look what happened.
* Being a business genius, Branson let Brawn GP go to Stuttgart, its natural berth. Then he took over the best of the newbie teams, formerly entered as, well, Manor. We thought that’s where Bernie lived but we were wrong. Manor is now Virgin Racing and that looks like a smart buy. Appointed drivers are Timo Glock – a strong entry – and Lucas di Grassi, an F1 virgin
* Lotus Racing is on schedule. Loud infrasound of the Buddhist Hmmm. Chief racing officer Mike Gascoyne confirms that almost everything is on schedule and first tests will start at Jerez in February. Appointed drivers are Heikki Kovaleinen and Jarno Trulli. Here are two survivalists from a losing 2009 season. That’s the advantage of more teams on the grid. Heikki says “my Mclaren experience made me a better driver.” Seems nobody in Woking noticed, but on the other hand, in Lotus Land…
* About the other newbies, the latest as of this date is that USF1 will be ready, but maybe not as of the first race. As to Campos Meta (Who?), they’re about to fall by the wayside, so we might only see 24 cars on the grid in Bahrain on March 14 after all. But who knows now?
Of course, “2010,” the new decade just inaugurated is only two weeks old. Bahrain is still 60 days away, far in the Persian Gulf. Much more exciting news, upsets, scandals and crushing disappointments will certainly be announced in the coming weeks.
We haven’t even mentioned here the mind games already going on between Jenson Button and Lewis Hamilton; or Fernando Alonso and Felipe Massa; nor Red Bull or Toro Rosso, with Sebastian Vettel and Mark Webber as potential champs.
Watch for Part 3 here in mid-February, and Part 4 in early March, the latter a thrilling pre-season outlook, with all the latest facts and rumors, astounding political twists and driver girlfriend status just before the inaugural race.
Oh, and the latest available tech developments too. We’re just ordering a pair of Predator drones to follow all this up for you from a safe altitude. Their missile racks will be loaded not with weapons, but very long telephoto lenses.
What a pace. We may also need “triple diffusers,” mentally speaking, so we can sort all this out before the first 2010 F1 wheels turn in anger on March 14, xx hours GMT.