Humor by Richard Bartholomew
May 31, 2018, Shanghai
An obscure Chinese company has captured the worldwide rights to all parts and spares for XKE Jaguars. Having achieved that, the company will produce new models using the original tooling and jigs, according to a press release from the Jusomgai Motors of Shanghai last Tuesday. Calls were made to current Jaguar owner TATA Motors for confirmation, but this reporter was unable to verify the authenticity of the press release.
The announcement went on to say “Our models will compete on the world market with an old-world style that we could not gain without going back to a classic model with a rich historical record like the XKE Jaguar. We look forward to filling the roads of the world with a style and flair that has been sorely lacking in the world full of look-a-like car styling.
“We have also hired a few of the old workers and engineers who produced the original cars and moved them to our modern factory town in a suburb of Shanghai. These British employees will guide the process of construction following the old methods of assembly. Even natural items such as the leather will be made from animals with from the same DNA family as the cows that were originally used to provide the leather to the Jaguars of the 1960s for maximum authenticity.”
These photos were provided with the press release but had no captions or further details. However, clearly both a two door and four door versions are planned for production. In addition, and inspired by the 1976 Tyrrell P34 Grand Prix car, is a six wheel version of the XKE convertible, still in the planning stages. The release also noted that power plants would be modern turbocharged four cylinders and hybrid electric systems, but no six or twelve-cylinder engines would be planned for the future!
It was also noted by astute observers of the Royal Wedding that the newlyweds had access to a mint Jaguar XKE convertible. Looks like Jusomgai Motors missed out on a wonderful PR opportunity. Rumors have it, however, that the Bride-to-Be put her foot down on the pregnant-looking new coupe from Jusomgai.
Our thanks to Richard Bartholomew for his ideas, humor and art….
April 1st re-visited?
Wait, this is June–wasn’t this supposed to be posted on April the 1st? I certainly hope so, because the photos suggest that someone tried to improve the Mona Lisa.
Oh dear……
Yes, we are a bit behind schedule…
E Rickshaw !!!
As a former Jaguar mechanic and later Asst. Service Mgr. of British Motors of Monterey 1968-1972 , I am saddened. There is a great deal of difference between style and class.
In my opinion, the original E-Type had both, these have questionable style and no class.
I would love to visit the plant near Shanghai on my visit to China later this month. I would be interested in an electric version of the convertible.
Alas Jeff and John the story is just a parody and the photos are a creation of my imagination. all in fun of course.
Are you guys kidding me ? Have you no humor